


Downward Facing Wolf

by pinkypromises



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Derek Does Yoga, Derek is a Tease, Everyone is alive because im in denial, M/M, Stiles cant catch a break, Stiles is pining for Derek's Butt, Yoga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4870627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkypromises/pseuds/pinkypromises
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek gets into yoga. Stiles doesn't think his life could get any worse.<br/>Or<br/>Five times Stiles is unprepared for Derek’s Downward Facing Dog.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Downward Facing Wolf

The first time it happened it was after school on a Thursday and Stiles burst through the loft door followed closely behind by Isaac and Cora. Which is probably why when he stopped dead in his tracks to gawk at Derek it lead to him being completely flattened by two (heavier than they look) werewolves. Stiles –thankfully- did not pass out from the sudden lack of air but his eyes blurred enough that he didn't realise Derek is looming over them all until there are hands tugging under his armpits and lifting him back into the land of the breathing, he doesn't think he’s ever been so appreciative of air before. Only when his eyes clear he gets a up close sight of what caused his downfall (literally) in the first place.

It is of course Derek. Shirtless, sweaty and wearing shorts. Now although it’s not an altogether uncommon sight for Derek to be shirtless and sweaty and wearing shorts on any given day of the week, the man likes to work out. Stiles is actually pretty sure that the whole of beacon Hills has seen Derek sans his top at some point. And It’s not like he’s complaining, Stiles can live with Derek fresh back from a run with the pack but this, this was a whole new ball game.

Because Derek Hale Alpha Werewolf (it deserved capitalising) is not only wearing a bright pink sweatband around his head, his hair jel–less and lying soft against his forehead but at the very moment that stiles had collided through the doors of the loft had been in a position he could only describe as Derek’s-Ass-Is-In-The-Air-This-Is-A-Sin. He would later find out that it was called Downward Facing Dog (oh the irony) and is in fact a yoga position. It would also later become Stiles’ worst enemy. Forget Kanimas and Alpha packs and 1000 year old demons, the Downward Facing Dog took the biscuit (pun intended).

So Stiles had spluttered out a sound that probably sounded more like an asthmatic cat than words and Derek deposited him on the couch with a quirk of his eyebrow that stiles interpreted as ‘this fucking kid I swear’. It took several minutes before this brain started to function properly again. He blamed it on the lack of oxygen when Cora asked if they had broken him. He left later that evening with Isaac’s chemistry notes because after a sight like that he was incapable of thinking of anything else.

The second time it happened Stiles was just as unprepared for it as the first. It was a warm day in late September and Derek had told them all to follow him because they would be training in a new location today. Truth be told training days were hell, so he was pleasantly surprised when the pack stepped out into a large grassy clearing in the forest. Stiles’ couldn't help his mind flashing back to when Danny had made him watch Twilight, the image of Derek replacing Edward popped into his mind and he had to pretend he was coughing to hide his laughing fit. He was so glad that no one was a mind reader in the pack.

Derek shot him a glare anyway when he whispered ‘and then the lion fell in love with the lamb’ under his breath. He spent the rest of the time seeing how many bad twilight references he could make. Stiles was up to his 37th quote when Erica complained that her calf muscle kept seizing up and that’s when it happened. In full technicolour daylight right in front of his eyes. Derek just bent over, right fucking there, instructing Erica to do the same and hold the position. Stiles was partly sure that Derek’s ass Was going to start sparkling or some shit.

He did the only thing he could think of and took off running in the opposite direction shouting back that he needed to train his fragile human body and nearly tripping up several times in his haste to get away from what could potentially become a very embarrassing situation. It was probably the fastest he’d ever run and definitely the only time he’d participated in exercise without complaining about it. Six laps later and Stiles finally chanced a look over at the pack which turned out to be a completely excruciatingly horrendous idea as Derek had now gotten all of them downward facing dogging, Stiles immediately cursed his inner word choice because now his thoughts are nothing less than x-rated. It’s really all Derek’s fault. He had to have three cold showers that evening.

The third time Stiles had already prepared himself for future episodes and so it really shouldn't have been that much a surprise to him when a week later the day before the full moon Derek suggested that the pack participate in some yoga to control the oncoming wolfy effects. The werewolves, which had been restless all day readily agreed- apparently it was only Stiles who had a problem with the meadow training session-and started pulling foam mats out from every crevice of the loft. Scott pulled one out from under the couch. Boyd comes back with three from the kitchen. He blames Derek for this lunacy (hah), he must have brought them all a mat while he was still pumped up on yoga fumes. Stiles wouldn't be surprised if he was involved in a yoga group with middle ages mums wanting to lose weight. He tried not to picture it.

This was proving effective until suddenly there was a mat rudely shoved into his hands and Scott offering him a space beside him. Right behind Derek. He was pretty sure a higher power had it out for him. Stiles shot a glance to the door but before he could come up with an excuse and make a bid for freedom he was being pulled down onto the floor and unless he wanted to take his chances with a pack of twitchy werewolves all his exits were blocked. Maybe if he just kept his eyes closed he would be fine.

15 minutes in and it was going surprisingly well, he was sweaty and his limbs ached but Derek had yet to pull any pornographic stunts in front of him and Stiles found himself relaxing a little. Which of course was the way the universe liked to trick him into a false sense of security and then proceed to kick him repeatedly in the face.

No six words have ever filled him with more fear than what came out of Lydia’s mouth next. “Hey let’s try downward facing dog”. If looks could kill the glare he sent the back of her head should have exploded it. She just smirked at her mat. She knew, this was Stiles’ doom. The end. Goodbye cruel world. As everyone got into position Stiles’ body froze, his limbs refused to move and his eyes had locked forward onto Derek’s ass. Stiles had heard people often describe the world seeming to slow right down just before the moment of a potentially fatal incident. They were right. He wasn't sure he was going to make it out of this alive. He couldn't tear his eyes away and Derek’s ass kept getting higher and the material of his shorts kept stretching tighter and he wasn't sure if it was getting closer to his face or his face was moving closer to Derek.Stiles might later compare it watching a car crash, you knew what was going to happen but you just couldn't look away. And then it happened, his limbs decided to unlock from their current position of their own free will and he proceeded to lose all the balance his body contained and fell straight forward into Derek’s ass.

Later when he is sulking in his bed with the pillow squashed over his face making loud painful moaning sounds Scott tries to assure him it wasn't as bad as he thinks. Stiles doesn't need to be a werewolf to know that Scott is lying. Scott is horrendous at telling lies. It also didn't help that everyone else had laughed for a full ten minutes and Lydia and Erica gave him smirking knowing looks while Derek lurked in the corner purposefully avoiding anyone’s eyes and looking somewhat terrorised. He’d gone home as soon as he gathered control of his legs again. He doesn't think he can ever look Derek in the eyes again. Having your face in someone else’s butt changes you as a person.

The fourth time Stiles refers to as ‘The Set Up’ because that is what happened, he is sure of it. To be honest he should have realised earlier that Erica and Lydia weren't going to leave him alone in his extremely depressing love (hahaha) life. After all they had spent the last week giving pointed looks between Stiles and Derek whenever they were in a room together, which was nearly as awkward as being in a room with him in the first place, although they both seemed to be ignoring ‘The Incident’. Which Stiles was perfectly happy with. He was a champion of ignoring the problem until it went away.

So when he receives a text from Lydia asking if he can come collect her from her kick-boxing class later that day he really should have been more suspicious. Unfortunately he was distracted by the totally awesome fact that Lydia took a kick-boxing class and so that’s how he found himself searching for her two hours later in what he would describe as a maze of a building because he forgot to charge his phone and didn't know where her class was. The lady at the front desk had been less than helpful and Stiles questioned her ability to tell left from right. He’d looked through 7 identical door windows into 7 identical empty rooms already without luck. If the lights started flickering he was getting out of here. He moved onto the next door, 8th time lucky maybe.

Stiles has always denied the rumours that he was incredibly unlucky but the next time someone says it he will probably agree wholeheartedly. Instead of finding Lydia hopping around and kicking ass he finds another kind of ass. Specifically Derek’s. Who is currently bent over in the Downward Fucking Facing Dog. Stiles would totally laugh at the fact that he called it about Derek being in a yoga class surrounded by middle ages moms but right now he really wants to cry because Derek isn't wearing loose short like usual but instead they look like they've been sculpted to him, stopping mid-thigh and riding low enough that he can see Derek’s back dimples. As it is Stiles just makes a choked off groan and slides to the floor. He’s in the same position 5 minutes later when Lydia finds him. She smirks down at his prone body and hauls him up. On the way home he has to drive slower than usual. He gives up on having cold showers and decides he’s just going to live with the shame.

The next day at school Lydia asks him if he can pick her up again but he prides himself in having some dignity left and politely declines.

The fifth time it happens he might just die right there on the spot. It’s a Saturday morning and Stiles woke up on the couch in the loft. After a moment orienteering his surroundings he remembers crashing out last night after some heavy duty organising of a new information into the bestiary. He stares at the leather back of the couch for a few more seconds rubbing his eyes of sleep and then rolls over, sitting up he comes eye to eye with his worst enemy. The Downward Facing Dog. Stiles still maintains that in the morning he is unable to be fully in control of his bodily functions and therefore does not have the brain power to think of dead puppies or Coach in a mankini to stop said oncoming bodily functions. It’s only natural for it to happen when faced with a sight like that.

It must be obvious to Derek. What with him having stupid werewolf sniffing powers. Derek must be able to smell arousal pouring off of Stiles. Which is why when he turns his head round and stares directly at him Stiles might just die right there and then on the spot. His soul has left his body. The end is nigh. He waits for the inevitable moment Derek decides to separate his head from his body. So when the seconds turn into minutes and Stiles still has all his body parts attached it’s confusing because he just knows Derek can smell him and unless he’s going for the slightly unconventional method of death by embarrassment and sexual tension Stiles isn't quite sure what’s actually happening.

Derek unfolds his body, stands up and turns to face where Stiles is sitting opening and closing his mouth like a fish and still with a raging hard on. He tries to say something again but then Derek is straddling him, his arms bracketing his head on the back of the couch and somehow a miracle happens and Stiles manages to choke out a ‘what position do you call this then’ which is followed by a ‘oh shut up stiles’ from Derek and before he can retaliate Derek’s mouth is on his and Stiles doesn't know who started it or how it happened but when Derek’s tongue flicks against his lips he really stops worrying about it.

Stiles doesn't see anyone else until halfway through Sunday when Cora comes back from staying over at Kira’s and upon taking a sniff of the loft hastily makes a U-turn and walks straight back out again.

That evening as Derek lays out his yoga mat and Stiles eats Chinese food on the sofa watching he can say that after being close up and personal with Derek’s ass and the rest of him that yoga is very much his best friend now. Derek is interrupted before he gets to the Downward Facing Dog.

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbeta'd as shit cause i'm new to all this. Sorry for any faults.  
> Boyd, Erica and Allison are alive because I have no chill.  
> Tyler Hoechlin's thighs are a thing of beauty just imagine him doing yoga. (again i have no chill)


End file.
